Many relationship gurus say that we need to truly accept ourselves, know ourselves or even LOVE ourselves before we can truly love another. 

That may well be true. But what if you’re already in a relationship and you’re not really a big fan of yourself yet? Is loving yourself first realistic? Is it even possible?

While it’s true that self understanding can go a long way in helping us navigate our lives with our partners, it is through relationship that we discover those parts of ourselves that need a bit of work (or a lot). 

In fact, we learn a whole lot more about ourselves than we ever wanted to know when we’re in a long-term, committed relationship. We also learn a whole lot more about our partner than they wanted to show us. 

Our yearning to be in relationship is so strong that we’re never going to wait until we feel “whole” before joining our lives to another person. 

How do we navigate this?

Acceptance of what is, is always the first step. Accepting ourselves and our limitations, our strengths, our weaknesses and being kind to ourselves allows us to accept the limitations of the other person and to be kinder to them too.

How do you deal with those parts of yourself you didn’t really want to know about? How do you deal with those parts of your partner, you’d rather not have learned about? 

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