“Marriage takes work”. That’s what everyone tells us. 

But what does that actually mean? What kind of work? 

The word “work” has so many negative connotations. 

With relationships … it gives me an image of a couple sitting down at a work station (in matching jump suits?) and poring over figures and graphs showing how they’re performing in certain areas. 

“Darling … our emotional connection quota is way down this month … this is really going to need some work to hit next month’s targets.”

“Yes, I see that. We’re seriously under-performing in mutual supportiveness … lift your game sweetheart.”

Etc etc …

Then they create schedules and plans and the end result is emotional connection and wild passionate love.

Or not.

I reckon the word “work” is unhelpful when it comes to relationships.

So here’s an idea … what about thinking of the relationship itself as “A work” rather than just plain old “work”? 

As in “a work of art”?  

Working on a painting or a piece of music for example,  is more like creative learning, experimenting, discovering and creative play than it is like “hard work”. 

I think if we can treat our relationships as ongoing “works of art” with all their messiness, flashes of bright, warm colour and also their darker parts, we can begin to find the deeper meaning within in them and see them as part of a bigger picture.

So, don’t “work” on your relationship. Learn from it, grow with it, discover more in it and create with it.

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